A New Approach

I no longer have been a regular here, yet I am still in my journey. My issues with my body weight remain the same, yet different. I am definitely loving myself more and can appreciate everyday the beautiful parts of me (both inside and out) that make me "me." Yet the weight is still hanging on.


I haven't been active on Marna's membership site for awhile now and no longer do the support group. I will still leave her information here on my blog, as I know it truly has served many people become healthier through becoming thinner.


I still continue with my law of attraction and EFT work, and have been busy with life in general.  I've also been on a de-cluttering mission for a couple of years now, so de-cluttering has become a process of releasing and removing emotional blocks that get in my way of abundance. I know that "body clutter" is an issue for me, so the process of clearing clutter is having profound effects.


With all of that said, I decided to try Weight Watchers again. I was a bit hesitant at first as the last time I did the program, I felt I was obsessing about points and food in general, which didn't serve me too well. Their new program "feels" so much better for me right now. I can combine what I know about law of attraction, EFT and affirmations, for example, with conscious eating, group support and feel well.


I've decided to share some of my journey here.


I'm in my first week. I  wasn't that surprised to see the number when I stepped on the scale, but I do admit that I felt "WOW" for a brief moment. That was a "I don't believe it" kind of "WOW," but it really was just an instant.  I know that I am not defined by that number and that that number isn't "reality." It's old news already!


I am appreciative of the contrast of seeing that number to help me clarify how "wellness" looks and feels for me. I'm not embarrassed, I'm not beating myself up, I'm not feeling frustrated...these are all emotions that in the past, I would have felt. Instead, I'm looking forward to this journey, to connecting with others, and to feeling even better than I already feel!


So stay tuned for more.


Warmly,
Barbara

Summertime, EFT, Conscious Eating and Ho' oponopono

It's been quite awhile since I've written on this blog. Do I have exciting news to report on my weight loss since then? No, I don't. Am I here to say that I'm back doing my support group, too? No, I'm not. But what I am here to report is that I've been working on my self-love and making good progress! So that, my friends, is great news! While I still have work to do, I am more aware of my negative self-talk and particularly any anger towards myself when I feel like a failure when it comes to my weight, this blog or my support group.  I'm being kinder to myself now. 


It's a journey. I still have work to do and I'm looking forward to it! As I go into this summer, I'm more aware of my eating, my body and why I'm eating.  I read Geneen Roth's book, "Women, Food and God," and am doing her 6-week online retreat as well. I can say that the book uncovered some deep issues. And while I know I have some ways to go, I  AM more aware of what hunger feels like. I've made a commitment to check in with that--only eating when I'm hungry.

Sometimes I forget. It's easy to do, particularly when there's a nice box of chocolate or some cookies that someone has brought into work, for example.  Just the sight of certain foods cause our mouths to water but that is NOT hunger! There is something else we are feeding when we choose to eat at the sight of delicious-looking, mouth-watering foods. 


So I'm checking in with my hunger, thanks to Geneen and Marna. I'm also very aware that many times I'm just thirsty, rather than hungry. So I'm drinking water instead. In doing so, I'm feeling really good and getting in touch with my body again.


So what does hunger feel like to me? It usually means that my stomach begins to growl. Sometimes, I even feel a bit nauseous. I always feel hunger in my stomach--never in my mouth. If I wait too long to eat,  I may get a headache. So I'm checking in with myself and asking, "Am I hungry?" If no, I don't eat until I am. And I'm not allowing myself to get too hungry because that sets myself up for mindless eating.


All of this also means that I'm throwing out the "old story" of "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Some days, it is for me. Other days, I have no breakfast. If I'm not hungry, I'm not eating. I plan ahead so that if and when I get hungry in mid-morning, I have something to eat so that I don't let myself get too hungry.


Last night, I had the pleasure of attending a small EFT workshop led by Brad Yates. It was wonderful and I'm feeling motivated again to tap as often as possible. One of the participants mentioned the Ho' oponopono Song so I looked it up when I got home and instantly fell in love with it. While I posted it on my Journey of A Spirited Strider blog, I feel compelled to post it here, too. It's just so beautiful. I believe the process that I am going through with myself is similar to Ho' oponopono. I am not blaming myself as much as I used to, not angry with myself over what I did or didn't do and I'm practicing the art of self-love as much as possible. So I forgive myself for not doing anything all these months on this blog. I am grateful for the opportunity to begin again with new resources like Geneen's work and with an inspirational boost using EFT, and I love myself for making this journey. I know that my body is not who I really am, but I love my body, too.


I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I thank you and I love you.

Falling Down and Getting Back Up

Remember that old commercial where the elderly woman is lying on the floor and says, "Help! I've fallen and can't get up!" ? Her cries would have fallen on deaf ears, had she not had her handy device that instantly communicated with her rescuers who would come to her house and help her get back up.

Well, I've felt like that lady without the device for some months now. It's been a long while since I've posted on this blog. I've been travelling, busy with my day job and quite frankly, not paying too much attention to my body, except for the negative stuff. I haven't done a support group in months and that made me feel guilty, not to mention that I had allowed myself to fall into some old habits again, which then brought up emotions of guilt and condemnation for myself.

Intellectually, I know that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Emotionally, I did it anyway. And the possible embarrassment from reactions from anyone who reads my blog, not to mention the people I've told that this method would work--just made me feel worse. Here I am, over a year later since I started on this quest and not making progress on feeling thin and being thin. That made me really mad and disgusted with myself. I felt like a failure, very frustrated, embarrassed that I hadn't succeeded yet and generally terrible in my own body.

I tried to hide it and pretend I wasn't feeling that way, but the truth is I was only lying to myself. I know that these feelings don't serve me well and my desire to be happy and healthy. I also know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. So I decided to blog about it so that anyone out there knows that they are not alone and that there are resources out there who can assist us.

If there is one thing that is a positive aspect of my personality it's my persistence and optimism. While I haven't been very optimistic in my body intentions in the past months, I am now. Now is all that I have, really, so why go on and on about the past few months and put myself down? I'll just make myself feel bad. Somehow, I do find a way back to seeing the positive about this situation, so my positive is that I'm now here, ready to begin again. And all that matters is now and moving forward. I can't change the past but I can choose to create a new path for myself from this moment on.

What are the positives? Well, first of all, I have a body that still works rather well. I am healthy with no major health issues, able to get up and walk everyday, enjoying the abundant resources I'm blessed with that nourish and feed my body. That is something to celebrate!

Secondly, I didn't forget about the beauty of EFT and how I can use that on these emotions that have been part of my experience these past few months. For reasons I'm sure I'll discover when I use EFT, I have been avoiding using it on my body issues for several months. I know that EFT has served me well in many areas of my life so I have no doubt that I can tap away on these issues and release them. That is not only positive, but very exciting indeed!

Third, Marna has been so supportive and I do so appreciate her support! It's great to have her and the community at ThinWithinU who understand the mind-set that those with issues with their weight often have. I look forward to getting a lot of support there again.

Fourth, I have found some amazing people in my law of attraction networking and really intend to get additional support there, too. My newest favorite coach is Jeannette Maw, who has a wonderful Ezine called "Get What You Want" and her "Good Vibe Blog," as well as a new membership site called Good Vibe University, which I joined right away. The energy there is uplifting so I'm intending to "tap" into that and bring it to my body image work both personally and more publicly here and on the ThinWithinU membership site as well.

Finally, I guess I can say that I've gotten back up! And it's all so good with all of these people in my corner. I'll be easier on myself and my busy life by doing monthly calls on the ThinWithinU site this year. I hope to begin very soon and look forward to being thinner in 2010. I hope you'll join me, too!

Love Your Body (weight-loss?) - Tapping with Brad Yates

EFT can serve to discover the core issues that hinder or block our progress toward finding that thin within. I know that I discovered a few things after just one round of tapping along with Brad on this video. There's a lot there for me. I can usually feel it in my body somewhere when I tap.

So there's a lot more resistance to work through. I'm grateful for people like Brad who so freely post videos that encourage and inspire, while introducing the world to the benefits of EFT. Meanwhile, I'm determined to keep using EFT in my weekly support group and feeling good!

In addition, I just signed up for Brad's 5 day trial of The Magnificent Tappers Club for only $1! You can check it out by clicking on the link below:

Join the Magnificent Tappers Club!

Getting Rid of The Scale

As I get ready to resume my support group this Tuesday on the ThinWithinU membership site, I thought I'd step on the scale and check in on my weight. I had an electronic scale that requires batteries (which I conveniently had been keeping empty in my attempt to resist standing on the scale daily). I put in my rechargeable batteries and found that the scale no longer works.

Hmmm, I thought, that's strange, since I rarely step on the scale. In fact, it's hardly used and it worked the last time I stepped on it. I took the batteries out, re-charged them again to be sure and inserted them again: still nothing. I double checked and switched them around several times, but to no avail: my bathroom scale was broken.

It took me no longer than 10 seconds after that realization to know what I had to do --- get rid of it! I realized that while I had not been standing on the scale everyday (or even every week, for that matter), I had been looking at it everyday. And my looking at it was creating some moments of negative emotions within me. It didn't matter that I wasn't weighing in all the time in my effort to "be easy" about the numbers: my daily looks did enough to create a conflicting vibration in my "loving myself" mantras that I do every morning in the mirror. In other words: resistance!

So I bid farewell to the scale, knowing that I still have resistance to the "number," so there's my next EFT tapping topic! In the meantime, I'll have the opportunity to step on a scale somewhere and check my progress in terms of a number, but I'm not going to obsess about it by looking at a bathroom scale everyday both before and after I look at myself in the mirror. It's counter-productive at this time for me.

After I threw away the scale, I couldn't help but notice for days after that that an area on both of my arms feels lighter and thinner than before. In fact, that part of me feels thin like I remember how thin feels. And it feels good.

Letting Go of My Focus on Weight

I've been away most of the summer. It was a great summer, actually. Anxious to see if I had lost any weight while I was in Japan (because the food was very healthy and I did a lot of walking), I have to admit that I was disappointed when I stepped on that scale--and learned that I was exactly where I'd been before I'd left. However, (and this is a big HOWEVER), that feeling of disappointment was rather brief and that's a very, very, very good thing!

The "old me" would have gotten all disappointed, angry at myself, disgusted and that would have triggered an emotional eating binge that would have roller-coasted out of control. Let's just say that "the old me" would have gone on a rampage of mindless eating instead of being mindful about my eating!

But I am truly grateful that I quickly found a better feeling thought and found gratitude in knowing that I didn't gain any weight, that the food that I experienced was fabulous and that I was happy that I had such an amazing, great experience. It was all worth it!

Recently, I had an insight into maybe why my weight is still hanging on: I'm paying too much attention to it! I've been noticing how heavy I feel, my tight-fitting clothes, my double chin or my heavy breathing when I climb the stairs. I pay so much attention to the "here" that I can't get "over there" where my visualizations and affirmations are. In other words, the gap between my "here" is too big to get me "over there." I can't make that big of a leap! I have to take smaller steps, incrementally. I've been feeling bad because I wasn't seeing or feeling progress, which has held me in a tug-of-war with my rockets of desire about my weight and my body. I'm grateful for the contrast because now I know I need to be easier about it all.

I have seen others out there who have issues with their weight who are using what they know about the law of attraction to better their lives financially, with their relationships, and with their careers, who often remark that when they get into alignment on a few issues, the weight just melts away. This was also re-affirmed to me recently while listening to Abraham-Hicks and reading their newest book, The Vortex.

So I'm going to let go of my focus on the weight by being easier about it. I'm going to do everything in my power to feel good, as much as possible. I intend to be joyful and have fun while moving along on this journey. So if I am feeling negativity about my weight or my body, I will use EFT on those issues and focus on positive aspects of anything that makes me feel good. It may not be my body, my weight or anything related to that, but it will definitely raise my vibration. And when this happens consistently, these extra pounds that I'm carrying will be free to move on. They'll be free because I will feel good about them: which makes them free to leave. And I'll be feeling so good that I will choose to freely honor my body by giving it the food that it naturally loves and moving so that it feels good! Before I know it, I will be in a state of wellness more often than not.

So as I get ready to start my support group again on the ThinWithinU membership site on September 22nd, I'm focusing on feeling good. The focus will be all about that, no matter what it takes. So if that means I have to be easy about my body and my weight for awhile, so be it! And when I'm vibrationally closer to "over there" because I'm more consistently feeling better, I can begin to "feel thin and be thin" again.

Taking A Break in Japan

I realized that I hadn't posted here for some time, and thought I'd better write a few lines so that any readers knew what was going on with me. I'm currently in Japan and enjoying the time immensely! So I won't be posting here probably until mid-July or so. I am posting my travel and observational updates on my other blog, Journey of A Spirited Strider.

Until next month,
Barbara