It's been quite awhile since I've written on this blog. Do I have exciting news to report on my weight loss since then? No, I don't. Am I here to say that I'm back doing my support group, too? No, I'm not. But what I am here to report is that I've been working on my self-love and making good progress! So that, my friends, is great news! While I still have work to do, I am more aware of my negative self-talk and particularly any anger towards myself when I feel like a failure when it comes to my weight, this blog or my support group. I'm being kinder to myself now.
It's a journey. I still have work to do and I'm looking forward to it! As I go into this summer, I'm more aware of my eating, my body and why I'm eating. I read Geneen Roth's book, "Women, Food and God," and am doing her 6-week online retreat as well. I can say that the book uncovered some deep issues. And while I know I have some ways to go, I AM more aware of what hunger feels like. I've made a commitment to check in with that--only eating when I'm hungry.
Sometimes I forget. It's easy to do, particularly when there's a nice box of chocolate or some cookies that someone has brought into work, for example. Just the sight of certain foods cause our mouths to water but that is NOT hunger! There is something else we are feeding when we choose to eat at the sight of delicious-looking, mouth-watering foods.
So I'm checking in with my hunger, thanks to Geneen and Marna. I'm also very aware that many times I'm just thirsty, rather than hungry. So I'm drinking water instead. In doing so, I'm feeling really good and getting in touch with my body again.
So what does hunger feel like to me? It usually means that my stomach begins to growl. Sometimes, I even feel a bit nauseous. I always feel hunger in my stomach--never in my mouth. If I wait too long to eat, I may get a headache. So I'm checking in with myself and asking, "Am I hungry?" If no, I don't eat until I am. And I'm not allowing myself to get too hungry because that sets myself up for mindless eating.
All of this also means that I'm throwing out the "old story" of "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Some days, it is for me. Other days, I have no breakfast. If I'm not hungry, I'm not eating. I plan ahead so that if and when I get hungry in mid-morning, I have something to eat so that I don't let myself get too hungry.
Last night, I had the pleasure of attending a small EFT workshop led by Brad Yates. It was wonderful and I'm feeling motivated again to tap as often as possible. One of the participants mentioned the Ho' oponopono Song so I looked it up when I got home and instantly fell in love with it. While I posted it on my Journey of A Spirited Strider blog, I feel compelled to post it here, too. It's just so beautiful. I believe the process that I am going through with myself is similar to Ho' oponopono. I am not blaming myself as much as I used to, not angry with myself over what I did or didn't do and I'm practicing the art of self-love as much as possible. So I forgive myself for not doing anything all these months on this blog. I am grateful for the opportunity to begin again with new resources like Geneen's work and with an inspirational boost using EFT, and I love myself for making this journey. I know that my body is not who I really am, but I love my body, too.
I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I thank you and I love you.
Amazing... God bless you!
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